Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
