Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
