Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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