Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
