It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My life is pants optional.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
