what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
