so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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