Say something about gay babies.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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