there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
