oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Jerry, you need to find god
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
