so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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