JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
