You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
