it was like eating out sand paper
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
