***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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