What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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