I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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