we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
