either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
