so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
