drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
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I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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