oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
