He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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