I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
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toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
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I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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