I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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