I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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