I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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