it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize