I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
