I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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