Michael Bay diarrhea
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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