you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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