i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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