He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
