dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Pooping to opera.
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