dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
