Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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