I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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