i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
