it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
