So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
