I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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