with your own penis?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
"it" just moved
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
