That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings