Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
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with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
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Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.