Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
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Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry