thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
