As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
