so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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