I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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