i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
