Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Do vagina's smell?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
