a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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