I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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