end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
