Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
And then he peed in my hair
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