I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
sick fucks of a feather flock together
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
