what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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