If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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