don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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