You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Oh god it's open bar.
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