What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize