its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
3 2 1 whiskey
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
