Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There's always time for handjobs
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
