i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
