Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
