Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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