the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
